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Cards that need better text

Chapuz · 11 · 6241

Chapuz

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These are the cards that need the text to be corrected, so they can be understood by noobs.

  :gravity
Armagio - Gpull: Becomes opponent's creatures target when attacking.
Saphire charger - Momentum: Bypasses shields.
Fluxor - fly: Become a flying creature.

  :life
Forest spirit - growth: Gain 2|2
Cell - Mitosis: Generate a toughter creature

  :earth
Warden - Add a "Delay self" at the end.
Antlion - Burrow: Half attack and can't be targeted. Gain Unburrow ability.
Shrieker - Burrow: Half attack and can't be targeted. Gain Unburrow ability.

  :fire
Lifesmith: flyingweapon: Target weapons becomes a flying creature.
Lava Golem - growth: Gain 2|2
Phoenix - Become an Ash on death.
Seraph - dshield: Can't be targeted for 1 turn.
Fire shield - Deal 1 damage to attacking creatures.

  :water
Chisaora - Apply 1 poison counter to the opponent.
Mind Flayer - Remove skill form target creature.
Arctic Squid - Freeze target for 3 turns.
Steam Machine - Gain 4|0. Lose 1 attack per turn.
Toadfish - Apply 1 poison counter to target creature.
Pufferfish - Apply poison on hit. Throttled.
Pegasus - Dive: Double tis creature's attack for 1 turn.
Crusader - Endow: Copy target weapon ability, gain the weapon's attack and 2 HP.

  :air
Wyrm - Dive: Double tis creature's attack for 1 turn.
Firefly queen - queen: Generate a Firefly.

  :time
Pharaoh - Scarab: Generate a Scarab.
Neurotoxin - Apply on opponent Neurotoxin if opponent is already poisoned. Poison increases per draw.

  :darkness
Yoink - Steal target card from opponent's hand.

  :death
Flesh spider - Web: Target creature loses airborne skill.

  :aether
Phase spider - Web: Target creature loses airborne skill.


flyingcat

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Equalizer's text didn't make sense until someone explained it to me. Change it to: Target creatures attack and HP are switched?
So apparently I can fly now


kirbylover314

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Equalizer's text didn't make sense until someone explained it to me. Change it to: Target creatures attack and HP are switched?

It doesn't switch it though. It keeps attack the same and makes HP equal to attack.


flyingcat

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  • RNJesus > Hard Counter

Chapuz

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The remains of this thread:

All pillars, marks and pendulums: We don't need to read "stackable additive 1charges" when hovering them. A new player will discover they are stackable while playing them for the first time.

All cards with abilities that cost quanta: Put a space between the last quanta symbol and the text! Same for the 0-cost active abilities; Quantum Locket's first words is read as "ONow"

Change all the passives' first letter to Capitals, so they can be read better.
Change "psion" passive (like from Psion and Wand) to "Spell". In the text of the cards, when showing them, also put a period after them.

After ALL the abilities, put a period.

All the "xcharges" permanents: It can be read better as "X charges.", with a space bar in the middle. Also say "charge" instead of charges when it's only 1.

Bolts, fahrenheit, etc incremental thingys: "Increment damage per X owned", add a space bar before the elemental icon. Add another space after the icon (for Stone Skin, for example).

All the "Produce X" creatures: same, add space before the elemental icon.

All the "Heal" cards, add "HP" at the end.

 :entropy
SoSe: Add a space before the  :entropy
Butterfly Effect: "Target a creature with less than 4 HP..."

 :gravity
Amber Nymph: "... Heal 1 HP", not "Heal 1 life"
Black Hole: same.
Repulsor: "Stackable. 1 charge. Reduce damage by 1 per charge"
Tidal Healing: What's that "without" at the end?

 :life
Alpha Wolf: Pack Wolves, with capital P
Druidic Staff: "Heal owner 5 HP", missing HP
SoG: same
Emerald shield: Change "reflect" for "Reflective"
Scorpion Claws: remove the effects form the text "1adrenaline nothrottle"
 :death
Infected: "Enters the field with 2 poison counters", needs text (3 upped)

 :water
Steam Machine "Decrement 1 strength..."
Whirpool: "Lasts X turns" instead of "decrement charge.."
Clepsydra: At the end, same as whirpool. "Lasts 5 turns"
Atlantis's Protection: Isn't "Atlantis' Protection"?

 :fire
Firebrand: Just "Lasts 2 turns"

 :air
Wings: Same, "lasts 5 turns"

 :earth
Golem Defender: The text is far too big. "Become a Golem Attacker. Largeness and power proportional to reduced damage". It doesn't have to say the formula, think about Catapult.
Auburn Nymph and Basilisk Blood: "Delayed FOR 6 turns" ?
 
 :darkness
Devourer: Spaces before and after elemental icons
Black Cat: "6 lives", space in the middle
Minor Vampire, Vampire, Vamp Stiletto, Vamp dagger: Add "Vampirism: " before the description.
Black Nymph: Text too big, just say "Target creature is poisoned and skill replaced for Vampirism."
Cloak: "Lasts 4 turns"
Drain Life: Another one with the "per X :darkness owned" without spaces
Nightmare: "drain 2 HP" instead of life?

 :light
Guardian Angel / Archangel: "Heal target creature 10 HP", missing HP?
Writ of Vengeance: "When an ally creature dies during foe's turn, your creatures attack". You don't need to explain the limitation in the card.

 :time
Deja Vu: "Remove ability & summon a copy"
Dune Scorpion: Too much text. Remove what neurotoxin does (let them experiment! or see a tutorial..)
Ghost of the Past: "Deal 8 damage to the owner on discard."
Anubis: It has no text at all. " :aether :aether  Quintessense. Target creature becomes immaterial"
Golden Nymph, Hourglass, Precognition: "Draw a card" in the end, just Draw sounds empty
Sundial: Remove the first line, who cares about the charge?

 :aether
Phase Shield: "Lasts 2 turns" (why is it so hard to say this so easily?)
« Last Edit: February 26, 2015, 07:50:57 pm by Chapuz »


timpa

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Fluxor actually alternates between flying and not flying (unnuped) and is AW on a stick (upped).

While mitosis the spell increases HP, cell only creates a new cell (which is what the ability does).

BE can target low attack and low health.

I agree that equalizer has an awful text: "Change the creature HP to match its attack."
:chroma :gravity :time


serprex

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Spacing issue are the fault of the updated text rendering, rather than a strings issue
"s's" for singular nouns is a matter of dialect, no right answer

This is a bit difficult to handle because I'm having to induce
« Last Edit: February 26, 2015, 04:05:01 pm by serprex »


cg

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"s's" for singular nouns is a matter of dialect, no right answer

From a pragmatic standpoint, I don't believe that a trailing apostrophe will be noticeable to almost anybody who doesn't already know it's there, so if the final S is removed, it will almost definitely be interpreted as "Atlantis Protection" rather than "Atlantis' Protection". If it is determined that s's is a problem, I would probably recommend just going ahead and renaming it to "Atlantis Protection" and stop even worrying about the possessive. Personally vote for sticking with s's but don't feel strongly about it at all.

Could also just rename it to "blow bubbles" or something slightly less abstract.


tiben

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Hi, here are a few comments/suggestions. I'm just beginning so maybe some of these are explained elsewhere that I haven't seen.

Always refer to same attribute by same name ie strength is sometimes called attack, largeness (would "size" be a better world) is sometimes called hp.

"throttled" is not explained.

confusion with "stacks" and "charges" : a stack is a pile not 1 unit (charge) of a pile.

the "|" in creatures' attributes looks like a "1" and is easily miss-read. ex: 3|-1 looks like 31-1. a "/" or ":" would be better.

"writ" --> "scroll"

skills descriptions that need clarifying:
ricochet : owner's or foe's spell or both? "caster randomized"?
infected : 2 poison?
tidal healing : "without"?
orochi : "if not retaliate"?
lodestone : increase cost of actives (skills) for foe or owner?
EQ, trident : any permanents (not just pillars/pends)
empathic bond : upkeep = 1 :life per 8 creatures?
siren : "Sing"?
white nymph : heals herself or owner?
Writ of vengeance : 108 charges? if one of owner's creatures dies, all the others retaliate?
reinforce : "push"?
pixie : owner's or foe's deck?
SoFre : chances are cumulative?
scattering wind : re-shuffles hand in deck and redraw same qty of cards?
clockwork golem : attack --> strength
Epoch : silence who?
52pickup : "discard deck"?
psyche metal : foe plays card whether he has quanta or not?

Hope this helps.


serprex

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So I cracked a joke about rewriting card text to Latin

But that gets me thinking, there was talk of having verbose & not-verbose. & there isn't actually that much text in the game outside of cards

So we could try leverage i18n: have a simple English, precise English, French, Latin, whatever. Main hassle would be new text becomes more effort requiring, but just fallback to some English when missing

I've got an idea of how we could set this up with JSON files, could request files asynchronously, so not loading all the languages. & then translators just have to make a PR with a JSON file. Potentially expose a way to test a JSON file so that one doesn't even have to setup a local server to test


cg

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So I cracked a joke about rewriting card text to Latin

But that gets me thinking, there was talk of having verbose & not-verbose. & there isn't actually that much text in the game outside of cards

So we could try leverage i18n: have a simple English, precise English, French, Latin, whatever. Main hassle would be new text becomes more effort requiring, but just fallback to some English when missing

I've got an idea of how we could set this up with JSON files, could request files asynchronously, so not loading all the languages. & then translators just have to make a PR with a JSON file. Potentially expose a way to test a JSON file so that one doesn't even have to setup a local server to test

do you want to do this? i'm up for making simple and verbose right now (edit-"right now" in the during-this-redesign sense, not like today), and we can add more localizations any time we get someone who wants to make one

edit-on the other hand, verbose overlaps quite a bit with extra keyword tooltips. still up for verbose mode (so people would be able to select language *and* have additional keyword popups) but it may not be worth writing at this point, idk. thoughts anybody?
« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 03:11:10 pm by cg »