Official Kirby Theory Thread

[flyingcat]

We have made a magnificent discovery in chat today!

Spoiler for Chat:

2032 flyingcat RNJesus pls
2032 flyingcat Imma sacrifice kirby to you
2033 Lost in Nowhere A Silurian Dragon, a reinforce, and a supernova.
2033 D2D wow nice
2033 D2D considering the deck and all
2034 flyingcat InnoSoSe?
2034 Lost in Nowhere Yes
2034 Lost in Nowhere gg
2034 kirbylover314 why did i get sacrificed?
2034 D2D gg
2034 Lost in Nowhere probably
2034 Lost in Nowhere yep
2034 D2D 1-0
2034 flyingcat So D2D could win
2034 flyingcat See? It worked!
2035 kirbylover314 huh
2035 Lost in Nowhere Interesting... very interesting... momentum on a weapon gives you 1 more HP...
2035 D2D ikr
2035 kirbylover314 Buff buff
2035 D2D weird
2035 kirbylover314 @fc Can you finish the match?
2036 kirbylover314 We*
2036 flyingcat Not now
2036 Lost in Nowhere Ready
2036 D2D can you sacrifice another kirby plz?
2036 flyingcat sure
2036 Lost in Nowhere Lovely, some explodey things
2036 flyingcat Sacrifices kirby to RNJesus again
2037 kirbylover314 D:
2037 kirbylover314 WAIT
2037 kirbylover314 What type of sacrifice?
2037 flyingcat Do you want me to get into details?
2038 kirbylover314 Burnt?
2038 flyingcat I think this chat is PG-13
2038 flyingcat So no details
2038 kirbylover314 At least give me a general idea of how I'm dying
2038 Lost in Nowhere gg
2038 D2D gg
2038 flyingcat I'm worried serprex will ban me for that
2038 D2D wait fluxor can LW itself?
2039 Lost in Nowhere Apparently
2039 kirbylover314 Upped only
2039 Lost in Nowhere No, unupped
2039 D2D he did it with unupped
2039 kirbylover314 Wat
2039 flyingcat 1-1?
2039 kirbylover314 Alright, that's new
2039 Lost in Nowhere 2-0
2039 Lost in Nowhere Well, 0-2
2039 flyingcat O.O
2039 kirbylover314 STAHP SACRIFICING ME
2039 D2D do eet
2039 Lost in Nowhere *sacrifices kirby first*
2039 kirbylover314 ALLCAPSRAGE
2039 D2D damn it
2039 gomorycut, kirbylover314, flyingcat, D2D, Lost in Nowhere
2040 flyingcat Sacrifices gomorycut to RNJesus
2040 Lost in Nowhere *sacrifices kirby's ghost*
2040 D2D :3
2040 kirbylover314 *goes on killing spree as revenge*
2040 kirbylover314 There, we're all dead now
2041 Lost in Nowhere *sacrifices kirby's ghost again, after which banishing it out of existence*
2041 Lost in Nowhere Ready
2041 kirbylover314 ;-;
2041 Lost in Nowhere Have fun in limbo
2041 D2D yolo ready
2042 Lost in Nowhere Oh, good, Firestall.
2042 Lost in Nowhere Maybe... no
2042 D2D pfft no
2042 Lost in Nowhere it isn't
2042 Lost in Nowhere This looks scary
2042 D2D it isnt
2042 D2D dont worry
2042 kirbylover314 cardinals gonna get rekt again
2042 D2D it sucks
2043 flyingcat What's the current matchup?
2043 D2D inno sose vs lantern rush
2043 flyingcat Oh
2044 D2D gg
2044 D2D 2-1
2044 Lost in Nowhere gg
2044 kirbylover314 The one thing I don't get is how LiN manages to win with innosose
2044 D2D dat silurian
2044 flyingcat subconsciously
2044 flyingcat Sacrifices kirby to RNJesus first
2044 flyingcat Let's see if the kirby theory holds
2044 kirbylover314 Nope
2044 Lost in Nowhere *sacrifices serprex*
2045 D2D *sacrifices lost in nowhere*
2045 Lost in Nowhere *is immune to being sacrificed*
2045 flyingcat Sacrifices OEtG
2045 kirbylover314 you cant play anymore
2045 D2D victory goes to the one in the lead
2045 D2D I WIN
2046 kirbylover314 Damnit cat
2046 Lost in Nowhere Cat OP Nerf Nao
2046 Lost in Nowhere Anyways, ready
2046 kirbylover314 *Sacrifices self to all the deities*
2046 kirbylover314 There
2047 kirbylover314 afk
2047 D2D innosose again?
2047 Lost in Nowhere It's the only deck I can win with =P
2047 flyingcat Kirby Theory... will it hold?
2047 kirbylover314 guess im not afk
2048 kirbylover314 We need a thread on forums to record shit like this
2048 flyingcat Make a WPSIC?
2048 Lost in Nowhere My hand is way too ful
2048 Lost in Nowhere l
2048 flyingcat Or an official Kirby Theory Thread?
2048 D2D inb4 bb health
2048 kirbylover314 Both
2049 kirbylover314 @fc Are you actually doing it?
2049 Lost in Nowhere gg
2049 flyingcat I'll do the KTT later
2049 D2D ggs
2049 flyingcat 3-1?
2049 kirbylover314 Damn
2049 D2D
2049 kirbylover314 cardinal got rekt again
2049 flyingcat KT holds
2050 kirbylover314 So who's making the KKT?
2051 flyingcat Me
2051 flyingcat I can prove with math
2051 kirbylover314 Copypaste all of chat

Kirby Theory states: Whoever types: "Sacrifices kirby to RNJesus" first will win the match if all conditions are met.
Conditions
1. Must actually try
2. Must not make mistakes
3. Must win


You don't believe me? I have proof! In today's GL match with D2D against Lost in Nowhere, D2D won 3-1. What's interesting is that LiN sacrificed kirby in the one match where he won, where I sacrificed kirby in the matches where D2D won. You may think the probability of D2D going win-win-lose-win would be ~1/16, but it's actually 1 according to the Kirby Theory!

And there you have it! The next time RNJesus is screwing you, apply the Kirby Theory and see what happens!


Wait what? You still don't believe me? Alright, I'll show you the hard math calculations...

Spoiler for Hard Math:

If F(x) = ∫k(i)di, f(x)=k(x)
Now, we know skidi=Fx=kx
kx = kicks
fx= fix
And if kicks=fix, it means kicking fixes the problem
What's another way of kicking? Sacrificing.
So sacrificing fixes the problem of losing.
Time to go back to skidi. We can arrange those to from kisdi, which means kirby in the ancient language of Cardinal.
Thus, I have mathematically proved that sacrificing kirby lets you win.

Spoiler for Disclaimer:

flyingcat takes no responsibility for any losses incurred

UPDATE: We have just proved it again with D2D vs kirby.
This is what D2D typed: *sacrifices kirby to RNJesus*
RNJesus didn't let D2D win because the premise was not met

We are currently testing whether this holds if kirby is not in chat
CONCLUSION: Only works if kirby is in chat at time of sacrifice